Before my marriage, my father is my guardian. After my marriage, my husband is my guardian.
WHO AM I?
I am a woman.
During the research, I was just strolling through the sunny lanes of a village (Khambat, Gujarat) when I decided to stop & engage the local store keeper (ironically a woman) about the local gossip. She was quite delighted to have a gossip partner & shamelessly (as we all do) started to relate about a young bride welcomed into the house at the end of the lane. Apparently, after a few days of marriage, she ran away & before that, even had the guts to report her husband to the local constable!
‘But of course, the constable was a sensible man she said. I inferred that her husband must have done something wrong & said so to her. ‘Of course not! He did not do anything’ she laughed. I requested her to divulge some juicy details & she was quite glad to be the information keeper of other households. ‘The bride accused her husband of marital rape. What is that? She was crazy! & further when the police refused to register an FIR, she decided to run away. Of course she would. A deer caught in headlights!’
A man is not against a woman. It is not the gender that discriminates, it is the perception.
I was very much interested in my gossip lady & asked her if her husband wanted to make love whenever he wants to, ‘even if you are suffering from high fever, will you not mind?’ She being a village lady, blushed but answered like a matter of fact, unquestionable.
‘YES, of course!’
I kept up the string of questions & she had an ‘of course’ to each of them such as:
- · ‘Do you believe a man is above woman?’ – ‘Of course’.
- · ‘Who should cook?’ – ‘Ghar ki aurat, of course’ (Lady of the house)
Apparently, what I can say is that in all these answers, the woman cannot have a voice or rather, a choice.
I wanted to wake up before him, see him, and kiss him. My sleep was broken at dawn due to unbearable pain in my abdomen. Before I could get my senses working, I opened my eyes to see his mouth descending on mine without allowing me a breath. I was asleep when my body was used without me being aware of it. I was shocked. My foot was twisted for 15 minutes. I did not protest to him making love with me. I protested to him forgetting my pain in his satisfaction. Rape happens, weather inside the bedroom or outside. The only difference that consent makes is that: Either it is making love or it is slavery.
Domestic Violence Act 2005 Section 3 as widely believed to be an option for the victims of marital rape, is not one. Unless the victim is grievously hurt in the act. Am I supposed to quote a twisted foot, sleeplessness & shock of my body being used without me being a party to it?
Nature made Adam & Eve to be in love, it did not, never did make laws of happiness in a relationship. If marriage is a sacred institution, so should be the smiles that comes with it.
Every law is being misused, for that reason alone, there should be no law. A meek woman, hardly knowing her rights, will never be in a position to respect herself if the law does not respect her as a woman.
If the only solution is legal separation or annulment. What if she cites the reason being – ‘Marital Rape’. Will you let her live with it? I will give you the answer, ‘she is crazy’. During my research, I came across people who knew about cases of marital rape in their circle but could not name them due to defaming the lady. The reason, as I came to know, being cited in divorce petition was ‘incompatibility’. And even though she is the victim, she becomes the ‘home-breaker’.
CATEGORIZATION OF RESEARCH SUBJECTS
TOTAL – 604
SAMPLE TAKEN – 510